Spring Poem Written In Exile

“Thơ Xuân Đất Khách”

Vietnamese poem by Thanh Nam (1977)                                                                                                                                                    English translation by Đàm Trung Pháp (2020)  

 

THANH NAM (1931-1985)

One of the most cherished literati in pre-1975 Saigon was the writer and poet Thanh Nam [1]. This popular author of more than twenty novels was also noted for his exquisite poetry. People loved Thanh Nam because of his intellectual probity – he wrote about life as he had actually lived it. Thus, his prose and his poetry were all about real life. “Thanh Nam’s real soul penetrates his literary works,” noted Bình Nguyên Lộc [2]. “The style is the man himself. This saying fits Thanh Nam perfectly,” declared Mai Thảo [3]. Although his first novel was published in Saigon in 1957, he started writing in Hanoi in the early 1950s. In 1952, he moved to Saigon and flourished in the literary circle there until the collapse of South Vietnam in 1975. If we needed just one publication to introduce Thanh Nam, that would be his 1983 poetic collection “Đất khách” (“In exile”); and if we needed to read just one poem typical of him, that would be his “Thơ xuân đất khách” (“Spring poem written in exile”). Thanh Nam penned “Thơ xuân đất khách” in Seattle on February 18, 1977, which was also the first day of the Lunar Year of the Snake (Đinh Tỵ). This first day of the lunar year is a most solemn time, during which the Vietnamese honor their ancestors, visit relatives and friends, wear their nicest clothes, and rejoice. His suffering from culture shock and nostalgia imbues the content of this poem [4].

    

SPRING POEM WRITTEN IN EXILE

THƠ XUÂN ĐẤT KHÁCH

Nonchalantly dropped the calendar leaf marking the new year

 Tờ lịch đầu năm rớt hững hờ

Which reminded me that seasons had changed

 Mới hay năm tháng đã thay mùa

Since the day I left as an expatriate

Ra đi từ thuở làm ly khách

Two springs of homesickness had willy-nilly gone by

 Sầu xứ hai xuân chẳng đợi chờ

Drifting from the East to the North

 Trôi giạt từ Đông sang cõi Bắc

The trip was a glaring load of sorrows

 Hành trình trơ một gánh ưu tư

In a foreign land, expatriation gnawed at me

 Quê người nghĩ xót thân lưu lạc

In an unfamiliar environment, I wondered about my journey

 Đất lạ đâu ngờ buổi viễn du

= = =

Awake or asleep it was me alone in humiliation

 Thức ngủ một mình trong tủi nhục

The miles were long, my feet tired, my steps forsaken

 Dặm dài chân mỏi bước bơ vơ

Like a soldier who had just been defeated

 Giống như người lính vừa thua trận

I lay on the battlefield, shattered by wind and rain

 Nằm giữa sa trường nát gió mưa

Eyes closed I tried to forget about my warrior life

 Khép mắt cố quên đời chiến sĩ

To become a vegetable slumped on a riverbank

 Làm thân cây cỏ gục ven bờ

Suddenly from the bottom of my wounded soul

 Chợt nghe từ đáy hồn thương tích

I heard bugles commemorating dreams of yesteryear

 Vẳng tiếng kèn truy điệu mộng xưa

= = =

Alas, home country and old friends

 Ới hỡi quê hương bè bạn cũ

What was your fate amidst this calamity

 Những ai còn mất giữa sa mù

We lost one another that late spring

 Mất nhau từ buổi tàn xuân đó

No tidings from home, not even a letter

 Không một tin nhà, một cánh thư

Pining in an endless wait for your news

 Biền biệt thời gian mòn mỏi đợi

My tangled mind is like snow flurries

 Rối bời tâm sự tuyết đan tơ

People have twelve months a year

 Một năm người có mười hai tháng

For me, the whole long year is just one April!

 Ta trọn năm dài Một Tháng Tư!

= = =

Accepting two lives for one birth

 Chấp nhận hai đời trong một kiếp

I am enduring the whims of a brutal tempest

 Đành cho giông bão phũ phàng đưa

Reincarnated in this world

 Đầu thai lần nữa trên trần thế

I will have to finish off this parasitic life

 Kéo nốt trăm năm kiếp sống nhờ

Reversing the order of family and first names

 Đổi ngược họ tên cha mẹ đặt

Imitating infants that babble puerile speech

 Tập làm con trẻ nói ngu ngơ

Burying the past deep into the dust

 Vùi sâu dĩ vãng vào tro bụi

My condition is less than that of a villain

Thân phận không bằng đứa mãng phu

= = =

The card game has not started, yet my money is lost

 Canh bạc chưa chơi mà hết vốn

The chess game still has moves for me, but I must give it up

 Cờ còn nước đánh phải đành thua

I want to shed tears when dreams fade

 Muốn rơi nước mắt khi tàn mộng

Fathomlessly high is the price of Freedom!

 Nghĩ đắt vô cùng giá Tự Do

= = =

Among friends who made it to this country

 Bằng hữu qua đây dăm bảy kẻ

Some are nursing grudge, others have not given up

 Đứa nuôi cừu hận, đứa phong ba

Yet some are leading a complacent life

 Đứa nằm yên phận vui êm ấm

Or enduring a humiliating superfluous existence

 Đứa nhục nhằn lê kiếp sống thừa

While clouds and water have a chance to meet again

 Mây nước có phen còn hội ngộ

Our dear friends in exile are still afar

 Thâm tình viễn xứ lại như xa

This spring I welcome my approaching fifth decade

 Xuân này đón tuổi gần năm chục

By getting inebriated all by myself

 Đối bóng mình ta say với ta

 

NOTES AND REFERENCES

[1] Thanh Nam was the pen name of Trần Đại Việt, who was born on August 26, 1931 in Nam Định, North Vietnam. He died on June 2, 1985 in Seattle. Among his major works are “Hồng Ngọc” (1953), “Người nữ danh ca” (1953), “Giấc ngủ cô đơn” (1963), “Còn một đêm nay” (1963), “Bầy ngựa hoang” (1965), “Những phố không đèn” (1965), “Mấy mùa thương đau” (1968), “Đất khách” (1983).

[2] Bình Nguyên Lộc (1966). Một tác giả viết về một tác giả: Thanh Nam dưới mắt Bình Nguyên Lộc. “Tuần Báo Nghệ Thuật” issue 36 dated June 18, 1966.

[3] Thanh Nam dưới mắt trời Tây Bắc. In Mai Thảo (1985), “Chân Dung.” Westminster, CA: Văn Khoa.

[4] How political refugees cope with a new life in America has been observed by social scientists. According to them, it is a painful and complex psychological process that consists of four phases: (1) euphoria, the time during which the displaced people feel extremely glad that they have somehow received a new lease on life, (2) culture shock, (3) stability, and (4) acculturation. Euphoria is only short-lived and may not mean much, but culture shock could last a long time and make their new lives miserable. Its duration depends on the individuals: the older they are, the longer their culture shock will last; and perhaps suffering the most during this trying time would be the sentimental artist whose heart bleeds easily.

[ĐTP 2020]